What's All This Then?
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What's All This Then?
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Tuesday Edition
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Coudal Partners
after Project Greenlight, Now what?
Pulling Focus
by scott smith
Friend of the agency Scott Smith was one of three directing
finalists in Project Greenlight 3. He started this blog about
that but now that he's back here on earth, he's writing about other stuff too.
THE EMOTIONAL TRUTH
The hardest part of parenting is when there’s nothing you can do to make your child feel better. Naturally, when they’re sick you want them to feel not sick, but I’m talking more about not feeling well emotionally. It’s hard to see your child feel sad. It’s hard to see your child in an emotionally challenging place when the spirit of a child should really be more about carefree than aloneness. It’s hard to see your child in the same emotional place you were as a child -- qnd as an adult, tapping into that place all over again. Although I’ve never been a girl 11 days away from her 10th birthday, so I don’t know what hormones, or brain or body chemicals are flooding her body affecting her emotions, but I do know, when I was a kid, as I often do now, feel that I didn’t fit in. That I was different, in a not-so-good way. I write it off now, and justify it by applying the troubled artist label, which in some ways I see is where Sydny is sitting. But as I told her, life is full of ups and downs, smiles and frowns, and the best way to get through it all is appreciate what we have, especially in the downs.
ANOTHER CROWDED TRAIN
It was definitely the combination of a crowded train, a woman’s oversized backpack hitting a man’s “Reaction” messenger bag by Kenneth Cole, that resulted in my annoyance. Mainly because the “Reaction” messenger bag by Kenneth Cole would hit the top of my laptop more often than not, resulting in my not being able to write. Mainly because I was worried of my screen being damaged, and that every time it hit, the computer almost feel off my lap. So I took a deep breath, and tried to appreciate that I wasn’t one of the people standing. It didn’t work. I was annoyed until they all gave me room.
THAT’S THE TICKET
Hannah Montana is back in the news. At least in our house. After exhausting all avenues, our friend Amy put a request in with her record label for tickets and they came through for us. No, they’re not free, and it involves a trip to Moline, Illinois. Which is about 3 hours from Chicago and on the border of Illinois and Iowa. Although we got 4 tickets I ‘ve been squeezed out of going. First of all, that’s a long drive for something that’s not a game at Lambeau Field, and secondly, Sydny and Piper have other friends going and no other dads. If it was in Chicago I’d try harder to go. I think she’s a good role model for the kids and the music isn’t AS bothersome as some of the other “Disney” music. As you know, we tried desperately and used every angle to get tickets in Chicago, and discovered even people at Allstate who pay LOTS of money to have their name on the side of the arena where she’s playing, couldn’t even get tickets. So in our mode of appreciation, the girls will get to witness their first big time concert. I hope they pick me up a Jonas Brother’s t-shirt.
SPEAKING OF LAME DUCKS
Does anybody pay attention to President Bush anymore? Is he still in office? There’s so much energy around the election 13 months away, that he’s just become irrelevant. Even congress is ignoring him. On Monday, Bush admonished Congress for failing to send him a single spending bill. Can you say “really lame duck?”
THE NFL THANKS ME
For some reason I received an email from the NFL. I thought because I live in Chicago they had the impression I was a Bears fan, and they needed to send me a sympathy email saying “hang in there -- being in last place in the NFC North and 3 games behind the first place Green Bay Packers isn’t so bad. At least they beat Green Bay at home. At least Lovie is 4-0 at Lambeau.” But it was really an email thanking me for complaining to my cable company for not giving me the NFL Channel for free, when it used to be free! Apparently they sent an email FOR me as well, and this is some of what their form letter said on my behalf:
“The NFL is far and away America's most popular sport and the NFL Network covers football 24/7. [if they do say so themselves] But too many football fans like me have Comcast. We are facing another season when we won't be able to see the great programming on NFL Network, including eight NFL games, or we will have to pay more for it compared to those fans lucky enough to have DirecTV, Dish Network, Verizon FiOS or AT&T U-Verse…” I said some other stuff in the email the NFL wrote for me, like pointing out the hypocrisy of including the sports channels they own -- like the Golf Channel (if you’re one to consider golf a sport) – for free in the basic cable lineup but want to charge for the NFL Channel. And then the NFL said something that I’d never say, as a matter of fact, it made me want to take the whole thing back. Because what the NFL wrote for me was: “I urge other frustrated fans to join me in writing to our government officials and tell them the cable companies should add NFL Network to their lineup alongside the channels they own.” First of all, I contact my government about important things like toxic dumping in Lake Michigan, Child safety laws, and getting the beat up van that’s been parked in front of my house for more than a week towed. Not what should or shouldn’t be available on my basic cable package. Unless it’s a 24 hour Green Bay Packers channel...
I’M NOT AN OBSSESSED FAN
It just seems like it. Just because IT’S BRETT FAVRE’S BIRTHDAY today doesn’t mean we ALL have to take the day off. Just kidding, I don’t even take the day off for a President. But nonetheless, I know Brett is regular follower of my blog, so in unison, if you’d be so kind, let’s all wish our favorite 38 year-old NFL quarterback a happy birthday. All together now, “Happy Birthday, Brett!” I think he heard you.
THE END IS NEAR.
I’m toying with the idea of stopping the blog. Seriously toying. Seriously stopping. At least for now. As a matter of fact, I’m going to stop. Sooner than later. Okay sooner, than later. I love doing it, and that’s the problem. I don’t have the time to devote to it, like I’d like to. I’m exhausted, and you can tell. Don’t tell me you can’t. I’m just a conversation away with Mr. Coudal, because it’d be nice if he heard before you did. Ooh, that might be too late. Sorry, Jim.
ANYWAY
Tonight, “Gone Baby Gone,” the movie Ben Affleck directed is playing at the Music Box as part of the Chicago International Film Fest. I got tickets and am looking forward to it. I also look forward to somehow getting the chance to see Ben, who’s going to be there with his brother Casey, who stars in the film, to see if he can put a name to my face. But the thing is, if it’s anything like his appearance at Project Greenlight, or when he and Matt showed up for the red carpet in Vegas for the premier of “Feast” and then left, I may not have time to see if he can put a name to my face. And the parallel of me starting the blog as a journal for my Project Greenlight experience 3 ½ years ago, and the potential to see if I in fact made a Hollywood contact or not, would be the perfect way to end the blog. Completing the circle. Having a sense of closure. Resolving any outstanding issues I may have. (okay, that may be going a bit too far, but…) anyway, gone doesn’t mean so long, and stopping doesn’t mean I won’t start again. I think it’s more of a regeneration of purpose and energy more than anything. So check back for my goodbye blog or to see if Ben Affleck remembers me. Who knows maybe his brother Casey will. I’m sure he watched the show.
WE COULD START HERE
I could go on about how Illinois foiled Wisconsin and its longest active winning streak in college football last Saturday. Or I could go on about how depressed I was to see the Packer’s hand the Bears a gift on a green and gold platter on Sunday. But I’d much rather go on about how Piper and I spent an enjoyable weekend together in Indiana while Sydny stayed in Chicago.
MR. MOM BACK IN THE MIX
Maria was shopping at a furniture show for SEAGRASS at High Point in North Carolina from Wednesday to Sunday, so I played Mr. Mom for 5 days. Not as bad as the Summer, when the kids were with me 24 hours a day, but still, challenging. Saturday we were expecting a delivery in Indiana early in the morning, so I needed to be out there to receive it. A truck was actually coming from the suburbs of Chicago to deliver a sectional and a console and then turning around and going back to Chicago. My dream was to leave Friday night, so we wouldn’t have to wake up and drive Saturday morning and risk missing the delivery window for some reason or another. Then out of nowhere, a complication arose.
A RISING COMPLICATION
Sydny’s best friend Molly announced Wednesday that she was having a birthday party on Saturday. I was already planning to drive back to Chicago on Sunday to take her to another birthday party. But what I didn’t want to do was take the girls to Indiana Friday night, wait for the delivery Saturday morning and then drive back for the weekend birthday tour. But that wasn’t all. Friday when I dropped the kids off at school, Sydny’s friend Nicole said SHE was having a birthday sleepover on SUNDAY night – since there wasn’t any school on Monday. My head was spinning with logistics and dollars signs on the gas pump. The only way things were going to work for ME was if I could find a place for Sydny Friday and Saturday nights, since I could get her to Nicole’s on Sunday night. Logic would have her sleep at Molly’s Friday and Saturday nights, but Molly was booked and committed to another sleepover on Friday night. So I needed to find a kid who was going to be at Molly’s party on Saturday, who was friends with Syd and finally, whose mom could drop her off at Molly’s party on Saturday. Then she’d be at Molly’s where she could sleep over Saturday night, and also have a ride to the party Sunday morning.
MOMS ROCK!
They step up when one of their own is in need, or when a hapless father is looking for a little help. Sydny ended up at Kelly’s on Friday night, Molly’s Saturday night, and then I picked her up Sunday afternoon from Madeline’s house just in time to take her to Nicole’s house for the Sunday night sleepover. 3 different nights, 3 different beds…I could make a bad joke here, but I’m talking about my almost 10 year-old daughter.
PEE STOP with CHICKEN
With Sydny in place in Chicago, Piper and I headed to Indiana. But first, we made a pee stop at a Kentucky Fried Chicken on the South Side. We each got “buzzed” into our respective bathrooms because apparently they like to monitor who’s visiting their restrooms. After the successful bathroom experience we decided to stay for dinner. Little did I know that Piper had never been to a KFC, so I had to school her in the ways of how I grew up.
ME: “You want some of this buttery biscuit dripped with honey?”
PIPER: “Ewww, no.”
ME: “More for me…”
Then she leans over to me and says, “There are all brown-skinned people in here.” I looked around, noticed we were the only 2 white people and concurred with Piper.
ME: “And in some neighborhoods there are only white people. And some neighborhoods there are a mix of people. Just depends on where people live, and where they eat and shop. We just happen to be in a neighborhood where mostly African-Americans live. No big deal.”
PIPER: “This is spicy…”
ME: “That’s the original recipe.”
KFC seemed better than the night before when I served peanut butter and jelly sandwiches for dinner. Naturally, there were other food groups represented, but that was to be the main course.
PIPER: “We can’t have peanut butter and jelly.”
ME: “Sure you can. You just can’t have it at school.”
PIPER: “I know that…it’s not dinner food.”
ME: “What are you talking about? You can have anything any time. Especially when daddy cooks. Like if we wanted we could have eggs or pancakes for dinner, or tuna for breakfast, or…”
PIPER: “I want something else.”
ME: “Fine. Do you want me to heat up some lasagna?”
PIPER: “Yes.”
NAUGHTY OR NICE?
And throughout the weekend not only was she talkative and full of questions, but she kept reminding me how good she was being.
ME: “You’ve been very good. Why is that?”
PIPER: “It’s because Sydny’s not around. She makes me mad and gets me in trouble all the time.”
ME: “I think you get yourself in trouble.”
PIPER: “Na ahh. She does stuff that makes me mad.”
ME: “I know. You both get each other mad, but you also have a lot of fun together. And I can tell you love each other a lot.”
PIPER: “Yeah…”
ME: “So maybe when you know you’re not as good with Sydny around, you think about or try a little harder when she’s around.”
PIPER: “But I can’t.”
ME: “You know what?”
PIPER: “What?”
ME: “When Sydny is alone with me, she’s a pretty good girl too.”
PIPER: “But I’m better…”
ME: “Yeah, you’re definitely better.”
SHOP TIL SHE DROPS
All we had to do was go to the Lighthouse outlet mall in Michigan City, return some sheets from the Polo Store, turn around and go home. But Piper HAD to find a couple things for gymnastics and her gym class. Well 4:30 led to 5:30, and 5:30 lead to close to 7. A typical conversation between the two of us;
We’re in Lids hat store. Two minutes into the visit.
PIPER: “Dad, come on…”
ME: “Okay, I just want to see one more thing.
We’re in Limited Too.
PIPER: Ohmygod, Sydny would love it here. This is my favorite store. ”
Five minutes into it.
ME: “…Just a little longer.”
PIPER: “But wait. Look at this. I haven’t looked at that side yet. Ooh, I love this top.”
We eventually found everything she needed at Old Navy. 2 yoga pants for $15, 2 tank tops for $5, and we splurged on a sweater/dress-like top for $20something. All I can say is, Piper + a credit card someday = trouble!
WHO CARES?
1) Whether or not Barack Obama wears a flag pin?
2) That the mother of Brian Urlacher’s 2 year-old son was held in contempt of court for failing to transport the boy to meeting place?
3) That “President” Bush has and an even lower approval rating than the previous guy with the lowest approval rating – oh, wait that would be himself…
4) That Oprah thinks O.J.’s book is “despicable?”
WHY DO WE CARE?
There was a recent article about the danger of popcorn! As the goofy guy from 20/20 would say, “Give me a break.” It was reported that some guy “who really liked popcorn” -- to the point that he made 2 – 3 bags a day for 10 years, was suffering from bronchiolitis obliterans, also known as “popcorn lung.” The serious part is the popcorn flavoring contains the chemical diacetyl, which has been linked to lung damage in workers inhaling its fumes in food plants. The chemical is a natural occurring compound which gives butter its flavor. It’s also used in cheese and even wine! What I’m getting at is the typical nature of our media to control the way we think, or at least persuade out thinking. This is the first case of lung damage from a home popcorn maker EVER. So naturally, now there’s a scare about eating popcorn. To the point that manufactures are making sure they don’t do anything wrong in the eyes of the public, therefore changing their formula as to assuage consumer concern. The man in question liked the smell of popcorn so much, “he would open and inhale from freshly popped bags!” How many people do you know that do that? I know none.
WHY WE SHOULD CARE
It’s been all over the New York Times, the Wall Street Journal and even in my blog, but “AUGUST: OSAGE COUNTY” a play written by Tracy Letts, and starring Deanna Dunagan, both of whom were in my “trailer” for INK, is premiering at the Imperial Theatre on Broadway. It’s unusual for Broadway producers to pick up a play and move it, cast and all, straight to Broadway. It’s a testament to the writing and the acting of this powerful piece of work. Previews start October 30, and opening night is November 20. If you’re in New York, you MUST see this play. It’ll change your play-going experience. In a good way.
WE DEFINITELY CARE
The Green Bay Packers are the 4th most popular team in the NFL for the 2nd consecutive season. The list looks like this:
Dallas Cowboys
Indianapolis Colts
Pittsburgh Steelers
Green Bay Packers
And then guess who? That’s right, the
Chicago Bears.
SPEAKING OF BRETT FAVRE
His wife Deanna, has just written a book called, “Don’t Bet Against Me” in which she shares the role faith has played in her life - from her years as a single mom and her high profile marriage to Brett, to her battle with breast cancer and the work she is currently doing through the HOPE foundation – which benefits women with breast cancer.
MAYBE IT’S JUST ME
But I think it’s funny that P. Bush’s homeland security adviser said that Al Qaeda leader, Osama bin Laden is “virtually impotent” isn’t really how I’d define it. I see a guy who’s changed the way the world thinks, acts and spends money. The guy is far from impotent, he’s the Viagra of terrorism.
AS THE SAYING GOES
The third Indiana chimney sweep is a charm. Well at least the third chimney sweep has a good reputation. His quote came in a bit higher than the other two, probably because I chose to go with a “CHIM-A-LATOR” on each chimney (we have two fireplaces,) which is an adjustable stainless steel fireplace cap damper. It’s got 6 different damper settings for more efficient fire/heat control. And what impressed me about this guy, was he actually got on the roof to inspect the chimneys! Anyway, the highlight of our conversation came when we talked about birds flying down a chimney and getting caught and becoming a clogging mechanism (a term I just made up.) And trying to sound smart to the chimney man, I said, “And it must stink too.”
CHIMNEY MAN: “Hell, there’s only a shotglass full of blood in a bird…the problem is their feathers don’t decompose.”
ME: “Yeah, that must stink…”
AND NOW A FEW WORDS FROM SYDNY
Table conversation;
SYDNY: “I can feel my tooth coming in…oh, it’s just a piece of bread.”
On her day;
SYDNY: “Somebody asked me if I was a boy or a girl today.”
On daddy’s driving;
SYNDY: “You’re lucky the police is in front of you because he didn’t see you go through the red light…if he went through a red light would he have to give himself a ticket?”
NOW HOW MUCH WOULD YOU PAY?
Yes, we like every other parent in the country who has girls between the age of 6 – 13 have tried to get tickets to the Miley Cyrus/Hannah Montana concert coming to our area. But unlike the parent in Charlotte, N.C. who forked out $2,565 for a ticket to the sold-out show, we’re bad parents…by the way, this 14 year-old girl is outselling The Police and Justin Timberlake!
WHY DID THE RAKE CROSS THE ROAD
In the case of me on the back roads of Indiana, it never made it. As a matter of fact, it took me by such fierce surprise, that by the time I processed, “Hey, there’s a rake, pointy-things face up, in the middle of the road. How peculiar. Oh, oh, THERE’S A RAKE, POINTY-THINGS FACE UP, IN THE MIDDLE OF THE ROAD! Swerve!” Somehow, by trying to avoid the rake, I hit it. And as rakes are known to do, it flipped around below my undercarriage and stayed there. Once I heard it dragging along with the car, I pulled over immediately. I got out of the car and heard the unfortunate, but definite sound of air being released from a tire. The sound was so loud, I thought it was coming from the driver’s rear wheel, but in fact it was coming from the passenger rear tire. I tried to dislodge the rake part, which had snapped from the handle, and was wedged on the inside of the tire and against the wheel well. As I stood up, looking every bit the Jewish, non-gear-head, geek that I am, a damsel appeared to my duress. Like in a cheesy commercial -- A young woman, which I described to Maria as “hot,” but I think of her more as a Princess, appeared out of nowhere on top of a huge piece of farm equipment and said, “Everything okay?” I’m not sure I said anything, but nonetheless, she either thought I was “hot” or an old guy pathetically out of place – but she hopped off her equipment and I pointed out my predicament of a rake head lodged between my tire and the wheel well. While she was quite impressed by my predicament, she had a suggestion.
PRINCESS: “You're going to have to lift the car to get the rake out. You got a jack?”
ME: “Duh. That’s a great idea…”
I went to the back of the Element and found the temporary tire, which took forever to unlatch, which then revealed the jack, but no tire iron. The jack was fit into this piece of the car that makes it practically impossible to remove. We both gave a couple college tries until I started to feel incredibly guilty that she was spending so much time with me. A pick-up truck hauling a bunch wood came to a stop in front of my car. I’m convinced he saw Princess, and thought she needed help. Little did he know, it was I, who needed the help. He immediately took over (in a good way.) Knew that we needed the crank handle part of the jack in order to get the hydraulic part out. Naturally she found it for him, as I stood with my finder in my nose. With the jack removed, he asked if I knew where to place it. I made a vague gesture, which indicated it was in the general vicinity of the tire -- and he bent down to place it for me. I looked at Princess for a bit of sympathy and she looked at me like I was a pathetic puppy who can’t learn to pee outside. The Prince grabbed the tire iron and had the car elevated in no time. Since I was no help at all, I watched the Prince take the lug nuts off, pop off the flat and remove the rake head from being wedged between the tire and the wheel well. Princess had to get her farm equipment back to the farm or somewhere, so she hopped on the massive piece of equipment and floored it out of there at about 8 mph which left me watching the Prince tighten the lug nuts on the temporary wheel. I noticed on the sidewall of the temporary wheel, it says you can only go 50mph.
ME: “Do you know how far I can drive on this thing?”
PRINCE: “Where ya goin?
ME: “I’ve to get too a meeting in Chicago.”
PRINCE: “Uh, it’ll take you awhile on that tire. I’d go over to Wal-mart to their auto center, get a new tire before you leave. They’re fast. Cheap.”
ME: “That’s a good idea.” And then I thought, “Since when does Wal-mart have an auto center? But since Prince made the suggestion, who was I to question it? So, on my way to Wal-mart, I passed a Sears Auto center, which is where I’d normally go had the Prince not mentioned Wal-mart. For some reason the Wal-mart auto center was empty. I pulled my car in, and there were 5 guys eager to work on something. One would think with that many eager mechanics to change a tire; it would take no time at all. The first challenge was finding the correct tire. Naturally, they found one. And I mean there was only one tire in the whole Wal-mart tire center that fit my vehicle. And it happened to be more expensive than all of the other tires on display that didn’t fit my car. I had the, “I should’ve taken it to Sears,” thought, but got over it when I discovered the steering wheel cover section of Wal-mart. I never thought I was, but they had a nice variety and suddenly I became a steering wheel cover kind of guy. Not only did the empty Wal-mart tire center take forever to change my tire, but also it wasn’t cheap. But I DID come away learning something about myself that I didn’t know before I drove into the Wal-mart tire center. I’m a steering wheel kind of guy.
THINGS I’D LIKE TO SEE
Buddhist monks in Myanmar staging a protest against the military government…Oh, I missed it? Maybe next time I could get a little notice.
HOW DO THEY KNOW?
The girls and I were walking the dogs, or as I like to say, taking a walk past the Governors house when Sydny said, “Did you know there’s a camera in there?”
ME: “Where?”
SYDNY: “The play thing over there.”
PIPER: “Yeah, there’s a camera in there.”
ME: “Really?”
I often wondered why this plastic yard toy was still in there yard, when first of all, no one ever plays with it, and second, his kids seems to be out of that stage.
Looking carefully, but as not to draw suspicion to the secret service in the soccer-mom van, I could make out where the camera would be.
ME: “How do you guys know that?”
PIPER: “We just know.”
ME: “That’s good enough for me.”
SAME THOUGHT DIFFERENT RESULT
1A) "Rex Grossman is our quarterback," Lovie Smith said.
1B) "In times of crisis . . . I put the ball in Brett Favre's hand," Mike McCarthy said. "I learned this a long time ago."
STRANGE NAME OF A THING YOU NEVER KNEW HAD A NAME
SCROOP - The rustle of silk.
THE WAY IT SHOULD BE
Or at least the way is used to be. The Packers are alone in first place of the NFC North division. Albeit they could be tied for first by the time they play the Bears in two weeks at Lambeau, but it’s fun to feel that old feeling of football superiority again – even if it’s a week by week thing. I think the key to the 3-0 start for the Packers is that I’ve dug deep into the “old-school” Packers t-shirts for game days – the very one’s I wore in the recent glory years – the one’s that are about 10 years-old.
THE WAY IT SHOULDN’T BE
Friday night: We went to IKEA. I like the idea of IKEA – the cheapish prices, and the Swedish style, but I’ve had terrible experience with their products in the past. And swear to never buy anything. Naturally, we bought two dressers. One much needed for the kids’ room, and one for our room in Indiana.Then I spent Saturday putting as much together as I could until one of the panels on of the 8-drawer dresser I was putting together for the girls fell apart under a couple screws. I couldn’t do anything more until I had the piece in place. I called IKEA with regards to getting a new panel. After talking to the customer service advisor, it was pretty clear I was going to make another trip to IKEA. Saturday night: I went to IKEA, got a replacement piece, wondered why so many people were shopping at IKEA on a Saturday night, and got a “fat-free” ice cream cone for my troubles. Got home, watched the Badgers beat Iowa, and then continued with my project around 10:30 p.m. I continued until I had to start the hammering portion of my project and picked it up this morning. I discovered a special small bag of 4-screws I hadn’t used yet. I realized, too late of course, that these were the very screws I was supposed to use on the panel that disintegrated under the “bigger” screws I used instead. Nothing I could do about it at that point, so I soldiered on, as they say and finished the piece with Maria visiting my work area every once in awhile to assess the quality of my construction performance. Which more times then I cared for, got a low grade. But naturally, I passed it off to her high-quality furniture expectations at Seagrass (895 Green Bay Rd. Winnetka.)
THE WAY IT’S GONNA BE?
Sydny and I got into an interesting conversation.
ME: “It’s really frustrating when you guys don’t respect us.”
SYDNY: “That’s why I’m going to adopt a baby.”
ME: “Why do you think that will be different.
SYDNY: “Because…”
ME: “You know mommy was adopted.”
SYDNY: “And she doesn’t fight with her mom.”
ME: “I’m not sure that’s true.”
SYDNY: “Well, I just want to adopt a baby instead of having one.”
ME: “Why?”
SYDNY: “Cause it hurts too much to have a baby.”
ME: “I think you might change your mind.”
ARE YOU LAUGHING AT US OR WITH US?
John and I took a trip to Madison Thursday to interview Michael Feldman or NPR’s “Whad’Ya Know” radio fame, and Governor Doyle of Wisconsin as part of the Bucky doc. Wednesday, the Gov’s office called and had to cancel due to a “budget-crisis” he was in the middle of. Frankly, I thought it was a lame excuse, but John, being the wiser of the two, thought it was a better excuse than, “The Governor is painting the Governor’s lavatory all afternoon, we’ll have to reschedule.” We kept Michael Feldman’s interview and Steve arranged interview with Craig and Jeff, two of the Bucky’s we haven’t had one-on-one’s with yet. Both the Bucky’s were great interviews. Both grew up on farms in northern Wisconsin. One near Green Bay and one Closer to the Minnesota boarder. And both getting teacher’s degrees. Craig, a 6-year senior is a first-time Bucky, and Jeff, a 3rd year Bucky, will take 5 years to finish. Michael Feldman was funny in a dry way, and I soon realized I couldn’t take anything he said seriously, and I’d have to abandon the prepared questions and just play along with his repartee. I think the one sound bite we’ll use is:
JOHN: “Did you know there are actually 7 Bucky’s?”
MICHAEL: “Oh, really? So it’s a family of Koreans?”
ME: “No, but that’s funny, and a fun visual.”
SHOPPING: PG-13
While shopping for the early Halloween costumes, Sydny and Piper pass a sign that said, “For sex parties.” Sydny walked by but Piper stopped, shook her head and said, “That’s just bizarre.”
ME: “Alright, move along.”
DON'T MAKE ME GO...THERE
I almost made it 10 years without having to step foot in the American Girl’s Place on the corner of Chicago and Michigan Avenues. And the only reason we did, was it was a couple blocks away from where Sydny had her canine teeth extracted (remember the whole “braces are 6-9 months away” story?) a couple Saturday mornings ago, and we (I guess I can only speak for myself) felt so guilty that we took the kids to American Girl’s Place under the condition we weren’t buying any dolls. Upon entering the three story palace of everything American girly we each had severely different reactions.
MARIA: “Oh my god, this is crazy.”
SYDNY: “Oh my god, this is cool.”
ME: “Oh my god, I need to blog.”
PIPER: “Oh my god, what can I buy?”
It’s retail genius, any marketer would be envious. There’s cross-pollination between products, brand extensions, multi-platforms allowing you to hit the same girl at different ages, and services you don’t need, but somehow want. Like the experience to eat at the café as well as a hair salon for your doll. That’s right, people stand in line, to pay $20 to have their doll’s hair styled. Everything from braiding your doll’s hair to putting it up in a bun. And you get to watch from many vantage points including the strategically placed mirror which allows you to see the top of the dolls head. And there’s also a photo studio where you can dress EXACTLY as your doll dresses and take some glamour shots with you doll pal to keep until you come across the picture years from now and wonder why your parents let you be compromised like that. There’s definitely something good about the history aspect of these empowered American Girls, and the books provide a great learning opportunity – the only problem I found was that we were the only parents forcing our children to look at the books and not the matching shoes. In the end, we got out of there spending close to $50 -- which I’m glad wasn’t more, but at the same time, I’m hoping since it was related to a dental issue, the insurance company will reimburse us…Actually, I think under Hillary Clinton’s universal health plan, American Girl purchases are covered after tooth extractions.
I’M NOT SAYING IT’S GOOD, BUT I’M SAYING IT’S DONE
I’ve rediscovered a “novel” I wrote YEARS ago that takes place around the turn of the millennium, which is a coming of age story about a guy who never really comes of age. I’m on my second pass though with regards to spelling and sentence fragments, which apparently Microsoft Word doesn’t approve of, but is in fact the way I write. It is. Really. And my thoughts turn to self-publishing online and watching it soar to the bottom of the best non-seller list. Look for it soon! It’s called, “Like Dizzy Gillespie’s Cheeks.”
SLEEPY OUTFIT
Sydny walked downstairs Monday morning in pajama bottoms and a t-shirt.
ME: “You need to get ready for school.”
SYDNY “I am. I just need to brush my teeth.”
ME: “Are you going to change?”
SYDNY: “No. I’m wearing this to school.”
ME: “You are NOT wearing pajamas to school…”
SYDNY: “Yes, I am. People do.”
ME: “Oh, come on.”
SYNDY: “Fine, I’ll ask mom.”
She marches upstairs.
ME: “Why isn’t dad’s word good enough to listen to?”
Sydny comes back downstairs.
SYDNY: “Mommy doesn’t have a problem with it.”
ME: “Well then. I guess that solves that debate. Did you want to bring your pillow too?”
SYDNY: “Very funny, dad.”
LAUGHLESS
With Maria out of town, for her “Birthday-girls-weekend” I decided to take the girls to an early movie, thinking we could eat after that and then have them home at a decent time to put them to bed so I can have some “me-time.” Outside of threatening to take the movie away from the girls all day for bad behavior, we ended up at the 4:40 showing of “Mr. Bean’s Holiday.” Why? Because that’s what the girls wanted to see. After spending $247 at the concession stand, we walked into the theater with our pick of ANY three seats in the theater. Very powerful feeling. I let the girls feel the power and decide. And just as the previews were about to start another patron, a woman in her late-30’s, I guess, walked in and sat on the opposite side of the theater from us. As we stared at the screen wanting to laugh, but knowing since we weren’t British, we didn’t know when to laugh, I realized why there were only 4 people in the 4:30 showing of “Mr. Bean’s Holiday.” Because it stunk.
FITS AND STARTS
My writing has been sporadic at best. I feel negligent. Like I’ve broken a contract with my blog. I really never have any excuse other than being lazy, and tired, and unmotivated. That and Maria being away for a “girls weekend” in Indiana for her birthday. So here I am finally able to tell you about Sydny, Piper and I being 3 of only 4 people to watch “Mr. Bean’s Holiday” late yesterday afternoon, then being talked into taking the girls to buy Halloween costumes 6 weeks in advance…
SELF PROMOTION
An email from my friend Emily:
“Hey,
Brian and I recently made a short little film called "Meant To Be."
This past weekend the film and it's director , Scott Smith, won runner up in the E79 Film Fest (an advertising community film festival here in Chi-town). To keep the good vibes going, The Annoyance Theater is graciously allowing us to screen it as part of a night of short films.
ANNOYANCE MOVIE NIGHT happens...
Next Wednesday.
September 19th
@8pm
The Annoyance Theater
4830 N. Broadway
It's FREE to the public AND they have a great bar with drink specials.
Plus you'll get to see a gaggle of dumb, fun little movies.
Bring yourself. Bring some friends.
Brian and Emily”
GOD THAT’S A GOOD QUESTION
It was a lazy afternoon when Piper decided to make me think.
PIPER: “Where did god come from.”
ME: “Uhm…what do you mean?
PIPER: “How was god born?”
ME: “Wow, let’s see. I don’t think anyone really knows…The thing is, there are different beliefs as to who or what god is, and it’s really…well, that’s definitely one of your most challenging questions.”
I so didn’t answer her question, so she swiftly changed the subject.
THAT’S A PRETTY GOOD ONE TOO
PIPER: “Daddy, can people who can’t talk whistle?”
ME: “You mean like deaf people?”
PIPER: “I guess.”
ME: “Uh, I think so. They can’t hear it, but you can feel the vibration.”
PIPER: “What about cough?”
THERE’S A HAIR ON MY STARBUCKS BARISTA
After I took Sydny for her recent blood test and x-ray, she and I and Piper went to Starbucks where we encountered a barista with an Abraham Lincoln beard, but it was on his neck, not his chin. And I’m not sure if I was looking at him funny, or he was just very impatient, but I handed him a tuna sandwich and this is how our encounter went down.
ME: “Hi, I’d like this sandwich.”
BARISTA WITH THE STRANGE FACIAL HAIR: “Is that it?”
ME: “No, I’d also like a cinnamon cake…”
BARISTA WITH THE STRANGE FACIAL HAIR: “Is that it?”
ME: “No – a maple scone…”
BARISTA WITH THE STRANGE FACIAL HAIR: “Is that it?”
ME: “No, I’d also like a drink.”
He waited to receive the drink order.
ME: “I’d like a chai tea latte with skim milk.”
BARISTA WITH THE STRANGE FACIAL HAIR: “Is THAT it?”
ME: “Yeah. That’s it.”
HAT HEAD REVEALED
The girls and I were going somewhere doing something when Sydny decided to ask me a very obvious question:
SYDNY: “Dad, did you bring a hat?
ME:”Yeah, I’m wearing it.”
SYDNY: “Can I wear your hat?”
PIPER: “No he looks bad without it.”
PUBERTY WAITS FOR NO ONE
Whatever you do, DO NOT tease an almost 10 year-old girl about puberty. She will cry, and most likely hate you for half an hour or so. Sydny has recently started using deodorant. We first noticed her manly underarm smell in Wyoming, and she was excited about it, and the prospect of getting her own pit-juice. But this morning, when she was carrying it around, and Piper was following her, trying to get Sydny to let HER use it, they ended up in our bedroom fighting while we were getting ready for the day. One thing led to another, I mentioned puberty, pubic hair and how breasts just get in the way, and Sydny ended up face down on our bed crying into our covers. At first I thought she was doing the fake, “actor” cry that she likes to do at times to prove what a good actor she is, but it went on for a while, so I turned her over, still clutching the deodorant, her face was red and her tears were real. I felt terrible. Told her so, and apologized several times. She wasn’t ready to accept it, so I asked her to at least brush her teeth so she wouldn’t be late for school. When the dust settled and I was at least able to get her to say a few words to me, she told me she didn’t want to go through puberty. I apologized one more time for good measure and talked a bit about the scariness and inevitability of puberty. Reassured her that we’ll be there for her when she needs us to be. Still clutching the deodorant so her sister wouldn’t use it, she gave me a pouty look and walked away.
IT’S A SCAM, GIRLS
Maria picked me up from work the other day and this is what I walked into.
SYNDY: “Daddy, guess what?”
ME: “What?”
SYDNY: “We’re going to try out for Hannah Montana.”
PIPER: “Or Zack and Cody.”
ME: “What?”
SYDNY: “There was this thing on the radio and mommy called.”
PIPER: ”And we’re going to audition tomorrow after school.”
ME: “What? Really? Why?”
SYDNY: “Cause we want to be on the show.”
ME: “Uh, okay. But remember, there will be a lot of kids auditioning, and you most likely won’t make it. I just don’t want you to have expectations and then get disappointed.”
Fast Forward to the night of the audition. They’re on their way home from the suburbs, where apparently most of the stage mom’s live. I’m on the phone with Maria.
MARIA: “Oh, my god. Remind me to never do THAT again. What a nightmare.”
ME: “There’s a surprise…How did they do?”
MARIA: “Sydny did fine. She sang the “A,B, C song,” and Piper didn’t do anything.”
ME: “Oh, that must’ve been fun. Why didn’t Syd sing a Hannah Montana song?”
MARIA: “I’m not sure. Why don’t you ask her…here Syd, Daddy wants to talk to you.”
SYDNY: “Hi, Daddy.”
ME: “How’d it go?”
SYDNY: “Fine…”
ME: “You sang the ABC’s?”
She giggles and then says, “yeah.”
ME: “Why didn’t you sing a Hannah Montana song? I thought that’s what the audition was for…”
SYDNY: “I couldn’t remember any of them…”
ME: “You don’t have a problem singing them anywhere else…I’m surprised you could remember the ABC’s. When was the last time you sang that?”
SYDNY: “I don’t know…”
ME: “How did Pipey do?
SYDNY: “She just cried.”
Piper grunts in the background.
ME: “Well, that was nice of mommy to take you guys. I hope you appreciate it.”
SYDNY: “Yeah.”
ME: “Let me talk to mommy again.”
MARIA: “Hey.”
ME: “So, that sounded like a good use of everyone’s time.”
MARIA: “It was so disgusting – all these mom’s brushing their daughter’s hair, coaching them. It was like “Little Miss Sunshine.”
ME: “At least is was entertaining.”
THE LOOK OF THINGS TO COME
I took the kids clothes shopping in Indiana. Naturally, we went to all the high end stores. Wal-Mart, Sears, Meier. But they were thrilled. Loved picking out their own stuff, with a little guidance from me, which was both accepted and denied. But they both definitely have their own styles. Sydny goes right to the boys section and Piper goes to girls section. Sydny likes to dress hip-hop/gangstery/skateboard chick. Piper likes to create her own look. Taking from many styles and putting them together to come up with something new. Her one upset was that I picked out the “belly-shirt” which didn’t really show her belly. I told her it was perfect and Sydny helped me convince her that once it’s washed it’ll ride her belly as she imagined it would. But all that aside, the worst part came when I was in the dressing room at Sears with Sydny and Piper comes running in, giggling with a huge smile on her face and a leopard patterned kid bra.
SYDNY: “Whoa…let me see that.”
PIPER: “I wanna try it on.”
SYDNY: “I should. I have boobs.”
PIPER: “I do too…I have seeds, you have buds and daddy has nipples.”
ME: “Do you guys really need to try this on. This is something you can buy with mom.”
Piper already had her shirt off and the bra over each shoulder as Sydny tried to hook it.
ME: “Here, let me do it.”
Once hooked, Piper giggled some more, and threw on her shirt.
PIPER: “Oh my god. It looks like I have boobs.”
Both girls giggle uncontrollably, and Syndy paws at Piper to get her turn. Sydny slips it on as Piper runs out of the fitting room leaving the door wide open.
PIPER: “I’ll be right back.”
I hook it for Sydny and her hip-hop/gangstery/skateboard chick disposition goes soft.
SYDNY: “This is so cool.”
ME: “Okay. Can we go now?”
Giggling uncontrollably, Piper runs back in, with the same bra in a tiger print -- naturally leaving the door wide open again.
I pile the clothes that we all decided on, stand up and start to leave.
ME: “Okay. Time to go. I’ll meet you guys out here.”
DID I EVER TELL YOU ABOUT THE RODEO?
The closest I’ve been to a rodeo was when I lived in San Francisco, and was invited to the Gay Rodeo. I kindly declined. But this time I had to go, we were in cowboy country. Even though the evening starting off with Maria and Jennifer bringing Starbucks into the corral, or whatever they call it, the evening was pretty fascinating. It was the real thing. Cowboys, cowgirls and Ty Hansen, the rodeo announcer who’s been at it for 23 years, spouting off jokes and anecdotes from the booth above it all. The Jackson Hole Rodeo is held every Wednesday and Saturday starting around sunset. We were there on a Wednesday night, and it was packed. It was like stepping into a book several chapters beyond where you left off. It was disorienting in a good way, though. You’ve got to be very respectful of the participants who for the most part, always come away injured, with no monetary upside, other than possibly a small bit of money or the coveted, rodeo “buckle.” And then there was the equivalent to beauty queens, but on horse back. The young girls in the rodeo, “trotted” out behind 19 year-old, Erin Heffron, who as this year’s “Lady in Waiting” Queen, has the honor of flying around the ring at break neck speed, carrying the American Flag. And then the 9 year-old girl with the 30 year-old voice, sings “The Star Spangled Banner.” Outside of the ladies having a fierce barrel racing competition, the highlight of the evening was between the bareback riding, the saddle bronc riding and the bull riding. All with the objective of hanging on for dear life for 8 seconds as the animal who’s bucking because it has some spurred belt strapped around it’s midsection, does whatever it can to get the belt off, as a result, knocking the rider off. In non-rodeo terms, 8 seconds is nothing, but when you’re on the back of a bucking anything, it must feel like eternity. The rodeo ended a couple hours after it began and I was exhausted from all the cheering – or was it the fact that I didn’t have a Starbucks cup full of caffeine?
LOOKOUT, THERE’S A TORNATO IN THE CAR
SYDNY: “Daddy, are you on your blog?”
ME: “Yeah, did you want me to write something?”
SYDNY: “Yeah…Okay…”
ME: “”Should I write okay?”
SYDNY: “No! Don’t write okay. Stop…
ME: “Okay.”
SYDNY: “Okay, here’s my story…this is with Sydny, Piper and Maria. So the air was on in the car, and the windows open, um…cause it was warm outside, and cold in here, and if it came together there could’ve been a tornado in the car.”
PIPER: “That’s not a story.”
SYDNY: “Yeah…it could happen…Mom, that could happen right?”
MARIA: “No. But it’s a good thought.”
MYFACESPACEBOOK
Yes, I’m old. Yes, I’m lame. Yes, I have no “MySpace” or “Facebook” pages. So why do people keep emailing me to be added to their Facebook? Is having friends listed some sort of status thing in the cyberworld? If so, I’d be a complete loser.
BETTER LIVING THROUGH SURGERY
I don’t have a vagina, but if I did, I’m not sure that I’d be thinking about any vaginal cosmetic surgery. I guess I’d spend my money on places where most people could see. But being that I’m one to fall into the latest trends, I guess if I did have a vagina I might fall for the “Vaginal rejunvenation,” the “designer vaginoplasty,” revirgination” or most likely the “G-spot amplification.” The committee on Gynecologic Practice (how’d you like to be on that committee?) concluded that, “absence of data supporting the safety and efficacy of these procedures makes their recommendation untenable…” Gee, thanks for the smart words. Better put, Dr. Linda Brubaker said, “Those problems are above the belly button, no below.” Amen, sister. To which Dr. Robert Moore, who co-directs the Laser Vaginal Rejuvenation Institute of Atlanta says, “Is there overwhelming data and evidence? No. but we’re gathering it now, and that’s why we’ve gotten involved in this – to bring legitimacy to the field.”
WHAT’S DIFFERENT ABOUT ME?
Can you tell I’m writing this blog from a new computer? After almost 5 years of having the same 17” Apple Powerbook G4, I had to get a new one. Although I only got a 15” this time, it still feels indulgent. But I had to. I could never predict if my screen was going to come on, and if so, what strange electronic pattern would appear. I had Velcro all over it to try and keep the slightly askew screen attached to the base – which never worked. Several of the keys were rubbed completely down, there was a huge 2” x 2” area that a watch I previously owned scratched out an abstract circle, and several of the screws on the side and bottom of the computer were missing, creating it’s own air conditioning when the laptop was moved a certain way. It reminded me of when I drove my early 80’s Toyota Celica into the ground. My sister was visiting me when I lived in L.A., and she couldn’t believe that at times the driver’s-side window would spontaneously fall into the door (first caused by backing out of a garage with the door opened,) and that I had to wiggle the lights somehow to keep them on and I think I had to rub the trunk in some special way to get it to open or was it that the floor board was rusted through? Oh wait, that was the VW I had before the Toyota. Regardless, she mentioned something to my parents about feeling unsafe in my car (which probably had more to do with L.A. than me, but the next thing I knew I was junking my car and buying my mom’s car from her. Which was a sweet deal I’ll never forget my parents generosity for. But writing on a new computer, makes me want to write a little differently.
SHORT AND SWEET
I’m thinking of going shorter. In the blog area that is. I’m thinking I may get a bit verbose at times, so, I’m thinking of trying to go a bit more Perez Hilton – well, maybe not SO short – and with no pictures that have writing on them. Thoughts?
THE BEST PROTEST SIGN SEEN LATELY
“It’s 12:15 p.m. Do you know which stall your Senator is in?”
IT’S MORE THAN A PARTY. IT’S A CEREMONY…
I received an e-mail inviting me to the “Dedication Ceremony” of the I-355 South Extension. Does that sound like a great time or what? There’s a 5K run/walk/roll, a 20-mile community bicycle ride and several community fall festivals! ”The excitement over the completion of this new roadway connecting I-55 south to I-80 will culminate on Sunday, November 11th with a Grand Opening Celebration. The $730 million 12.5-mile I-355 South Extension is part of Governor Rod R. Blagojevich’s Congestion-Relief Program: Open Roads for a Faster Future.”
THE AIR BENEATH MY CEREAL
Piper takes a break at breakfast yesterday morning.
PIPER: “Did you know nothing is lighter than air?”
SYDNY: “I know.”
They both go back to eating.
SEE THE WORK
The 4 videos I shot for the Swedish toilet paper company, Tork, can be seen by clicking on TORK
MOOSE ON THE LOOSE
Here’s your typical Wyoming conversation.
ME: “What are you eating?”
MARIA: “Elk. Thought I’d have a little something while I watched the moose.”
There is a moose and her baby moose (a moosette?) lying in the grass in our Wyoming backyard, less than 10 feet away (according to Maria, it’s maybe 8 feet.) Of course there is a window between us, the single moose mom and her young one, who have been using the backyard as a sort of a feeding ground and nap site since this morning. It’s now about 4 p.m., and Maria has decided to naw on her elk chop left over from last night’s dinner at the Snake River Grill. Which was quite different from the Bar-T-5 covered wagon cookout & wild west show , we took the kids to the night before. When the brochure says, “Fun For The Entire Family” you know it’s gonna be like going to the Wisconsin Dells set in the Teton National Forest.
WAGON HOOOOOOOOOO
Ten covered wagons jammed full of about 20 tourists each (locals wouldn’t do this in a million years,) moseyed along a residential street one mile east of the town square until we met up with a stream on the Cache Creek Canyon. Pulled by 2 horses each, some of us tourists-types, asked our assigned covered-wagon-cowboy questions to pass the time, and another guy, who was there with his wife, asked a million (annoying) questions. “How much does that horse weigh?” “How old is that leather thing strapped to the horse?” “Is it true some horses just may not like some people? Cause I’ve had some horses like me, and others, couldn’t get the time of day from…” I’m not sure which was worse, hearing the questions or watching the two women dresses as Indians, ride by all the covered wagons, like wild Apache ready to scalp us. As a matter of fact, one the politically incorrectly dressed ladies, grabbed the Bucky Badger hat I was wearing – pretended like she was keeping it, but then gave it back. For a politically incorrectly dressed woman, she had a great smile, so I couldn’t be upset. Now, the peculiar thing about the Bar-T-5 Covered Wagon Cookout & Wild West Show, was not the cookout and the wild west show itself, but the fact that the majority of the people at the event, were not with families, but other adults – of all ages. We were more distracted with the universal question of free-will, and the notion that these folks were there and they didn’t have to be. In other words, with kids. We had a choice of “mouth watering roast beef, tangy barbecued chicken, corn on the cob, Dutch oven-baked beans, fresh green salad, rolls, coffee, lemonade and brownies.” Let me just say, the baked beans looked like soup, the corn on the cob was as big as my thumb, and brownies were frosted. But the food was definitely better than the “cowboy-spirited entertainment.” Which really means, sexist, as the cowboys ogled and ogled over all the women present, to the point where our friend Jennifer, was called out to be objectified by the good-humored 26 year-old cowboy, as he got his “cowboy-spirited entertainment” all over her. Little did we know, as we and the kids sat on the picnic tables, watching the “entertainment” and listening to the “good old fashioned Western music,” we were making 3 bitter old folks even more bitter by apparently depriving them of a clear view of the “entertainment.” It really wouldn’t have been a big deal, but we discovered they were on our covered wagon, and some of our party, had words with them as we boarded for the journey back to the parking lot. And surprisingly, the words weren’t uttered from Maria’s mouth.
TONIGHT
The Rodeo!
BIG NEWS
I guess they read my blog, because BP, “Beyond Petroleum” (like ammonia and suspended solids,) announced yesterday that they won’t dump 54 percent ammonia and 35 percent more suspended solids into Lake Michigan. And they’re sighting, “regulatory uncertainty.” They didn’t come right out and say, “We have made this decision because Scott was upset, and had a few good points in his lame blog.” Instead they said something exactly like, “We have made this decision because this project requires regulatory certainty.” Huh? All I can say is, let’s hear it for “regulatory uncertainty.”
LITTLE NEWS
Maria, the kids and I are in Wyoming with friends. We’re at a very large house at the base of Teton Village which belongs to the parents of the Mrs. of the couple we’re with.
NO NEWS
Still settling in to the fresh air and the higher altitude. Will amass some experiences and report back.
STRANGE NAME OF A THING YOU NEVER KNEW HAD A NAME
SADDLE - The rounded part on the top of a matchbook.
Find a Job
Scott Smith
"Advertising art director aspires to be Hollywood film director" isn't a new story. If it were a movie, we might not bother to see it. But when the art directo's talent get him tantalizingly close to the goal, when we can watch the process unfold day by day, and when it all happens in real life, we're compelled to pay very close attention.
Scott Smith spends his days (and some nights) as a Creative Director at Element 79, where he works on such accounts as, Quaker Oatmeal, Cap'n Crunch, Del Monte, and Tropicana among others.
Before joining E79, Scott wrote and directed a few spec commercial spots and one short film. Scott submitted Ten to Project Greenlight, and when submissions closed, he was one of 1,733 directors with a chance to direct a feature film with Greenlight's backing.
Then he was one of 10.
Scott and the other nine directors shot a few pages of a scene selected by Project Greenlight. Folks voted for their favorite of the ten shorts, eliminating seven directors.
Then Scott was one of three.
On July 9th, 2004, Scott Smith flew to Los Angeles to meet with Ben, Matt and the Project Greenlight folks for a final round of interviews, and began blogging about his experience right here at coudal.com. In the end, Scott didn't win Project Greenlight. But, as they say in Hollywood, one door closes, another opens. Scott will continue writing in this space, and we'll continue reading to see just how far that second door opens for him.
Our thanks to Scott for agreeing to do the blog, and our best wishes for the coming days. He's come this far. Who's to say that the light at the end of the tunnel isn't green?
